How do I say 'please'?

The English word “please” is a Swiss Army knife of politeness — you attach it to almost any request and it becomes more polite. Chinese does not work this way. 请 is grammatically correct but carries a certain distance: it is the language of signs (请勿吸烟), formal announcements, and authority relationships. Using 请 in every sentence to a friend sounds like you are a waiter or a flight attendant.

Real conversational Chinese softens requests by acknowledging the imposition:

• 麻烦你 — “I’m troubling you” — acknowledges that you are asking for effort. This is the natural default for favors.
• 帮我 — “help me” — direct but warm among equals. Not rude between friends.
• 能不能 — “could you or could you not” — frames the request as a question about possibility, which is inherently softer.

The key insight: Chinese politeness is often about recognizing the other person’s effort rather than adding a magic word. 麻烦你 works because it says “I see that this costs you something.”